Churchfields BBQ Flytipping a “Protest” against Simpler Recycling
By Dickie Flasher
Larkhill resident flytips BBQ in Salisbury, leaving locals sizzling with anger. But a new revelation comes to light which could take some heat out of the grill…
Salisbury residents were left furious last week as the remains of a BBQ was found, apparently dumped, in Churchfields industrial estate. The man in question, Bruce “Shrimpy” Brown, originally of Grilladoompa, Australia, chucked it out of his Ute on the way to the Bottle-O for some grog, and was handed a fixed penalty notice of £1,000 for his troubles.
However it now seems Mr. Brown’s motives weren’t purely selfish, but in fact a protest against the Simpler Recycling legislation, set to come into force at the end of March.
In an interview with the News & Gazette, Shrimpy said this:
“Yeah nah mate I’m actually a top bloke. I’m not one of those fly tippers, those fellas are cooked. Yeah nah but the thing is, I can’t stand all this bloody recycling. If I waited another couple months to sort it, I’d have to smash it up into a whole heap of stuff to recycle it. Thats like tons of work when I could be having brewskis with the boys, yanawattameen…”
To translate this for our readers, what Mr Brown is concerned about is the disassembly and sorting of the BBQ in to its constituent parts.
“Yeah like nah but I get it and that. Like that bit is metal and that bit is plastic, but what about the bits of sausage that got stuck to the bars? What about the greasy spatula? Am I chucking it in the food waste, or the general? So I thought stuff them, if they want it done better do it themselves. Theres enough bins already mate. We don’t need one for every element.”
When asked if he felt his one man protest in fact harmed his community, Mr Brown stated “Geez you pommies bloody whinge mate.”
We will watch as this story develops…