CRIME ON THE RISE?! Man with DARK SKIN spotted in Salisbury!

Simple mistake causes race fuelled fear on Salisbury Streets.

Police in Salisbury were on Red Alert today as a man with DARK SKIN was spotted “Walking” with “his phone in his hand”, wearing “a hooded sweatshirt.” Causing much anxiety for the native population. The man was said to be around 6ft 2, with a large menacing scowl and dark olive skin, that one onlooker described as “darker than Greek”.

A witness, who wished to remain anonymous explained, “He was definitely up to something. He had one of them Afro thingys. I reckon he was probably in a gang.”

Another bystander commented, “I knew he wasn’t from round here. Darkest bloke I know round here is my barber from Turkey. He’s alright really cos he sorts out my barnet. I was bald before. But yeah, this other bloke, cor. Bet he’s from one of them foreign continents. Or worse, Birmingham.”

I saw a mother with her two small children, visibly distressed. “We leave our milk unlocked on the front step. Our 12 year old daughter, Alstroemeria sometimes walks our budgerigar Hamlet, alone at night. All of that will have to change.”

A earlier statement from the Police urged people to keep away from this individual, who could be linked to one of the many shady World Food Shops that operate locally.

Later, Police reassured locals, after questioning the man. “Although we were initially worried that Salisbury was being invaded by immigrants, we are now relieved to confirm that this gentleman was a normal white person, who just so happens to be home from a long holiday in Magaluf. We are happy the man’s skin colour was purely down to an unfortunate nap during a beachside tanning session, and that he is definitely not an ethnic.”