Tom Bromley is the only reporter with bollocks in the Salisbury Gerbil Newsroom.
Bromley battles with a higher power in latest article, as Comrade Glum gets gainful employment…
By Kevin Opinion
Tom Bromley, Head Stud Reporter for the Salisbury Gerbil lashed out at MP John Glum this week, as the bowl-cut office-bearer backtracked on his promise to not take up a second job.
In an article reminiscent of actual journalism, Bromley pushed the boat out by speaking his mind. A trait long lost in local media.
Mr Bromley, therefore, by merely questioning Glum seems to be the only legitimate writer on the team. Most of the other gerbilists are too busy prompting ChatGPT to have an opinion.
The article in question 'Salisbury MP is undertaking a secondary job. Is this a concern?' Published on the Salisbury Gerbil website on Thursday 12th is unfortunately mis-titled. A more appropriate headline would’ve been “John Glum supports wealth redistribution, but only under his terms.”
Yes indeed, it seems Mr Glums new job doing vague posh person things is now being justified by a show of Labour-loving, left wing economic reevaluation.
Comrade Glum shocked us all as he pledged his salary to the proletariat. Working a 70 hour week just to dish out his dollar doesn’t sound like Glum’s idea of a healthy economic situation, but he’s willing to try it. Glum is actually quite keen to try anything but being a decent politician, as long as it doesn’t involve gay stuff.
It seems the Homepride hairdo isn’t doing much for Glum’s brain, as he accidentally became a leftie Socialist, just to save his own greasy skin. Since Mr Glum is in such a giving mood could he perhaps do our paper round for free this week? Just as a favour? I’m sure he has nothing better to do.
Sir Bromley has impressed the Gazette editorial team simply by asking questions preemptively, and then remembering the answer. We know he is chained down by the shackles of the real news media, that is why he was so desperate for a peer:
It’s no coincidence that shortly after the first publication of The Gazette, a job within the Salisbury Gerbil swiftly opened up. This was Bromley’s influence. He near enough demanded the entire editorial team of The Gazette was hired on the spot. However, we took one look at the words “Ai Assisted Reporter” and projectile vomited all over each other, just to make a point.
Besides we only learnt what an inverted pyramid was last week. Too bad Tom, but if you ever need to get something off your chest. Any stories the evil Newsquest overlords just won’t allow. You will be welcome here with total anonimity. Anonimety. Anonymoty….